You are my heart, tell me how you want to be loved.
The world is in deep agony, aching in every curve, every corner, every land. Sometimes it is from suffering that hatred derives. Shouldn’t we try, at least, to end this hatred? If we only have one purpose, shouldn’t it be to spread love? And only love?
We can start by asking those around us how they want to be loved. Open yourself up. Take your heart out of your chest and bare it for the world to see. Show them how you want to be loved and in turn, ask them how they want to be loved.
Each of us have a different love-language, a way we express and give love and a way in which we want to be loved. Whether that is through intimacy, solitude or service.
Some of us need space, especially when the world is draining you. Sometimes it gets too much and we reach the brink of breaking and we need solitude, we need time away in order to revive ourselves.
Some of us need soft touches and love glances. We desire a touch that brings us some semblance of comfort. We need intimacy in order to feel loved.
Some of us need acts of service. We need, not only words, but actions too. We need someone to show us their love through simple acts of consideration such as; taking the rubbish out, doing the dishes, watching the kids.
Whilst we all need different things, the one thing that all of us need is for someone to ask us:
How do you want to be loved?
We have a tendency, as humans, to only think about what we need and want, which we absolutely should but we should never, not ever, ignore the people around us in this egocentric inclination.
We love people the way we want to be loved because we are unaware of how they want to be loved. What if you asked them right now? They would tell you exactly how to love them at that moment and you could start loving them how they want to be loved.
In many declarations of love, whether it is to a parent, sibling, friend or spouse, there is no question of the way they should love each other. It is just ‘I love you’ not ‘I will love you how you want to be loved’. Just as people change from time to time, love also does. It fluctuates, just as the way you want to be loved changes as you grow and develop as a person.
The way people want to be loved can depend on their experiences. On a day when the world has creeped into their heart, draining their soul, you might find that they want to be alone. Yet on a another day, when they have had a good day, you may find that they want soft touches and love glances.
Sometimes our experiences can shape us and make us who we are. We can become the products of our experiences but what we are, more than that, is human and we must find a way to love everyone in the way that they want to be loved.